May 22, 2009

Chuck Norris Baseball Facts

I've been posting about baking far too much lately, so here are some Chuck Norris baseball facts (inspired by Halos Heaven) for my non-baking friends:

Chuck Norris doesn't steal bases. He is given them as gifts.
When umpires make a call, they turn to Chuck Norris and say, "If that's alright with you, sir."
Chuck Norris once hit a home run through the Green Monster.
The Milwaukee Brewers added a new feature to Miller Park: everytime Chuck Norris hits a home run, Bernie Brewer will slide into a mug of blood.
When Chuck Norris plays third base, the first baseman wears a catcher's mitt.
Teams recently started employing the Chuck Norris shift, in which all eight fielders stand in the bleachers and the pitcher stands behind the batting practice screen.
Barry Bonds did not take steroids. He was touched by the right hand of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris bats, he hits 2.000.
Monument Park is actually a memorial to all the players beaned by Chuck Norris.
The Tampa Bay Rays took the "Devil" out of their name because it was trademarked by Chuck Norris.
Players who hit behind Chuck Norris don't get any RBI, because Chuck Norris always drives himself in.

1 comment:

  1. I love the Chuck Norris stuff. Even though some of these baseball things are lost on me, I laughed nonetheless.

    And lately, I feel like I'm writing too often about things that aren't baked goods. Must fix that.